I’m stupid. I can’t do this. I’m too old. I’m too young. We can too easily fall into the sticky web of believing inaccurate statements that we may have heard from a friend, spouse, parent or sibling. Words we hear, repeat and ultimately begin to believe. These are limiting beliefs that hold us back in all areas of our life. We are in control of our thoughts, if we choose to be. The choice is our own. Developing a deliberate mindset will change your life for the better. But it takes time, patience and consistency. A deliberate mindset will transform you. Are you ready?
No matter how many years you have walked this earth someone has made a statement about you that was negative that left a mark somewhere along the way. Whether it was about your intelligence, ability, consistency, age, etc. they were words that stuck. A choice is made whether we choose to believe these statements or not. The choice is our own. You have the ability to take control of your thoughts. What are some of your limiting beliefs? I challenge you to write them down. Look at them. Repeat them. Replace them. They need to go. Every statement will carry a negative and you must replace it with a positive. But these statements must be repeated again and again.
Some of the messages we have been fed are brutal, mean and unnerving. Over time they can wear you down. As months turn into years, we can succumb to believing severely false beliefs about ourselves. It’s unfair. We walk around in shackles bound by false beliefs about our identity. No matter where you are reading this, free yourself. Go ahead. It’s time to reclaim the person you were intended to be. Repeat that with me, “the person you were intended to be.” That’s pretty fantastic sounding if you ask me.
If we have been alive for fifty years we possess wiring that will need to be rewired. That takes time. You have held yourself back with limiting beliefs for some time. Now, it is time to change. You can do that. Remind yourself. You can do this, but it will take time. It requires consistency and patience. Every single day intentionally replace the negative thoughts or words about yourself with positive constructive phrases. When you write them down and repeat them, you become more familiar with them. With time, you believe it. But it takes time.
Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself daily that you hold tremendous, significant value. Say it out loud. Repeat it in your head. Whatever it takes. But in all things, be deliberate. The transition from negative to positive is much less jarring and time consuming when we fully commit. Fully. Reclaim your thoughts and begin the journey of being who you were intended to be. It’s an amazing pursuit.
You said what?
Part of your journey and pursuit of your deliberate mindset will be informing those who may be spouting false messages about you that these words are not welcome. Redirecting and establishing boundaries can be done kindly, but it must also be firm. Words belittling your self worth or identity are not welcome. They never were. I’d recommend avoiding this discussion in a large group or over text. If you’re comfortable it can be one on one, over the phone or even a letter. Reclaim your voice and set the boundaries that words that take away rather than add to are not welcome.
Just as this journey will take us time, it will take others time to adjust. You may have to remind and redirect, but keep at it. There may be a time that if an individual is unwilling to adjust to your requests, that you may have to reconsider the frequency of your interaction. That can be a tough one. But know this, if we are exposed to daily or ongoing messages that are an attempt to derail our journey, it’s a toxic component that should be re-evaluated. You deserve to pursue the journey of loving yourself as well as others respecting and loving you.
It may not be easy to stand up for yourself, but it is necessary. The ability to love ourselves is there, some of us just may grapple in gripping onto it more than others. That’s ok. It takes time and patience. But do not waiver on the fact that you hold crazy, beautiful value. And that you deserve to love yourself and me loved.
It’s a Journey
You control your thoughts. Every day is a new opportunity to start over. That’s today. Whatever rubbish you’ve believed in the past is now just that, the past. Grab onto your thoughts, replace negative limiting beliefs with accurate and kind ones. You can do this. Remind yourself of this every single day. A thousand times a day if needed.
Take this journey. I promise you, it is a pursuit that is well worth taking.