Compare and contrast. It’s fine when it comes to a mathematical equation or car models. When it comes to comparing ourselves to others it’s detrimental to our mental health and quality of life. So many feel the tug to compare themselves as parents, siblings, friends and in the work place. It’s wrath is ugly and its benefits are a big fat zero. Learning how to stop comparing yourself to others and start living is one of the BEST gifts you can give yourself.
As human beings it’s in our nature to look to our left and our right and see how others are faring. With that tug brings with it unnecessary drama that makes life more complicated than it was intended to be. What else does it bring? It 100% has us questioning our abilities and impacts our self worth.
It’s similar to surfing in SO many ways. You can be out in the line up waiting for a wave and the difference between those in the zone, focusing on THEMSELVES rather than what others are doing or thinking compared to those who are preoccupied with what others are thinking of their surfing abilities and how they perform before others. Those consumed with comparing have a tendency to falter while surfing and the quality of their ride is compromised. That’s a big fat bummer and one that is absolutely avoidable.
How to stop comparing yourself to others and start living
- What do YOU want out of life? Write down your personal goals and establish time frames of 30 days, six months and a year. Post your list in two or three visible places. Remind yourself of YOUR goals.
- Flip competition into opportunities for growth. We are never too far along in any area of our lives to not learn from others and grow. Rather than a focus on how you are falling short or even how someone else is ahead of you (which creates unnecessary drama and contempt) exchange it for learning opportunities. What can you learn from their positives and negatives? What are you excelling in and in what areas can you adjust your sails?
Be you, not someone else….
3. Rock out YOUR gifts don’t be a replica. Remind yourself of your gifts and your positives. What areas can you strengthen? When focusing on someone else you become distracted and it removes focus on YOUR goals and YOUR journey. Remind yourself as often as needed that YOU are awesome and when our eyes are elsewhere we’re only hurting ourselves.
4. Gratitude. One of the best ways to dodge the bullet of comparing ourselves to others is getting lost in gratitude. Seriously. Think about that. When we take daily accounts of what we have, what around us we are grateful for that pull to look onto others is decreased. Pursue gratitude in all things. It may be writing daily accounts or verbally expressing it to yourself or an accountability partner.
5. Punching bag. When thoughts surface in your mind of who or what is doing better or worse than you it’s pouncing and squelching those thoughts. It’s replacing a negative with a positive. This can be found in an expression of gratitude or whatever form of positive that works for you. When we give permission to allow comparing thoughts in our mind we allow our heart and mind to be emotionally pummeled. Stop being an emotional punching bag.
When we stop comparing ourselves to others and start living…
There is one you on the planet. One. Personal comparison is one of the biggest traps people fall into. They can waste years on comparing themselves to things and people that ultimately do nothing but detract from their quality of life. It’s not worth it.
I also encourage people to know their triggers. Know what pushes your buttons. Whether this be limiting your time on social media scrolling through other’s accomplishments and displays of perfection or avoiding those who bring out the worst in you. Learning what makes you thrive versus what distracts and frustrates you is important. This may take time, but it’s time well invested.
How to stop comparing yourself to others and start living begins with you and it can start today. Every day we are given is a gift and we can take advantage of starting a new chapter or we can make excuses and prolong a higher quality of living.
What do you chose? Know that you are worth it. Today YOU are worth focusing on what’s important and kicking distractions and negatives to the way side. You got this!